TOP 10 THOUGHTS FOR THE MOMENT

# 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

# 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

# 8 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see one without an erection, make him a sandwich.

# 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

# 6 - Some people are like a Slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

# 5 - Health freaks are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

# 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

# 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you 50 dollars and a substantial tax cut save you 50 cents?

# 2 - In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR THE MOMENT: We know exactly where any untaxed car is located among the millions of cars in the US, but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the DMV in charge of immigration.